Loop de flew

These past few days have been particularly bonkers what with the preparation for the college fest and all. Me, and my friends, in particular are going excessively crazy because we seem to be elbow deep into the giant sticky and awesome mess we seem to be creating. The month has gone by in a whirlwind of activity, and its just this incredibly weird feeling that, after these 2 days, its over. We’ve been working towards this day for so much time now, it just seem ridiculous that we’ll have nothing to do after this weekend.

And the worst part is, we’re going back to classes! (sob!). We’ve not been having classes for so long, and having a blast for so long, and literally living in college for so long, it’ll be sorta weird to not be doing all this.

I’ve been revolving in so many loops, its not even funny. From the t shirts we ordered turning out to be made for the 8-12 yr age group to wanting to bury my head in the cemented floor because ‘the newspaper’s font hurts my eyes’.

But you know what is affecting me the most? Being involved in so many loops is not only fun, it makes me feel exceptionally happy, wanted, like I can do something, I matter; but what hurts me most is being out of the loop I care for the most.

Its just a random feeling, and I am sure I am not really out of it, just not making an effort to being in it either. But the thing is, people expect me to be out of it. It bugs me the most. Its not like I am awesome and other people make efforts to, like, hide stuff from me, but it just gets to me that even when I ask, ppl don’t tell me.

I get that I may be slow on the uptake, but so should they. No? Help me understand so that future references are not filled with exasperated sighs and omgs.

To ppl who will read this, this is just how I feel sometimes. This is the first time in my life, when I felt I could fit in somewhere, but these things just bring my old insecurities back.

You know, I am getting to my point. What I hate most that when ppl make assumptions; and that just makes me want to do things that will shock them out of their wits (not nicely even).

Like how they think, fat ppl are jolly blobs, and how if I don’t hold my heart out to break, I don’t have one, and how because they don’t like it, its shit, and how norm is the rule.

#Lesson for the day: Rant sometime, its awesome.

People Talk

You know there’s something really weird about the way people talk. Whenever you meet relatives after a really long time, they’re bound to say, “Look how you’ve grown” oh! That’s nice thank you for telling me I’ve grown fat.
That’s still okay since it’s a thing you say when you have no clue what else to say because they know nil about me. They do not even know my name let alone any personal facts.
The still weirder part is that even the relatives I meet on a monthly basis cannot help but remark “oh how tall you’ve grown! You just don’t stop growing do you?” umm yeah sure, I have not gained half a millimeter for the past 2 and a half years, but if you say so then sure! I’m still the same height. But you cannot really say that can you? You just have to grin and bear it.
Another thing is that when people come to stay over at our place and I have to go to school, when I return they say, without fail, “you’ve come home?” in a very sweet and soothing voice, they ask me, I who have just stepped in.
After the day I’ve had in school all I can do is grin and say yes whereas from inside I’m popping with rage “no! You know, I’ve not come home as yet, this is just a digitalized apparition of me you’re seeing, while I have left the earth for a tour of the galaxy!” Of course I’ve come home, since you can actually see me in my uniform, come through the door after ringing the bell, standing in front of you, I see no reason why you should ask me that at all.
Even mum, one day when she opened the door she asked “you’ve come home, now?” and because its mum I said “no Mum it’s my clone, I am currently traveling through heaven on my Harley Davidson”.
Also people who are in the tenth would have experienced this, anyone who comes across your relatives, older friends, parents friends, anyone who’s older than you comes up and once they’ve inquired which class I’m in and after obtaining the answer, even after meeting me a hundred times in the same year, all they can say is-
“So, board year huh?”
Studying hard are you?”
“You know you should be!”
Thank you for the enlightening insight but I really think I can manage my own syllabus very well my self.
And it’s not only tenthies that have to suffer when you’re in 5th they consider you too small to mention anything, when you come to the 6th the countdown begins
“So 4 years to board year huh? Study hard.”
“ 3 “ “ “ “ “ “ “
“ 2 “ “ “ “ “ “ “
“ 1 “ “ “ “ “ “ “
“So are you studying hard??
And after you’ve crossed tenth they say “So last year was your board year huh?
Did you study hard? What was your percentage?
Study hard! Next year also board year! Ha Ha Ha, what an irony trapped between two board years!!!”
I swear I will not talk like that but then again, what can I do? It’s inevitable.

Que Sara Sara

Some times it happens that a test you’ve been wanting to score high in, you don’t. You’re completely distraught and you blame it on every thing in sight, the teacher didn’t teach, I was absent, I dint want to anyways etc. but if you really thought about it you’d most probably notice that you were so busy praying that you forgot to study, I am not saying that this is always true, there are 101 reasons, real ones, because of which you couldn’t score, but the one reason why you did score was because you studied.
There is a saying, you can only take a thirsty horse to the water but he has to drink it, the same is with us and our teachers, they can only lead us there, we have to bend down and take what they are giving to us. They are giving to us the key to an incredibly successful life it is we who have to take the effort and stretch our hands forward to take it.
My dad keeps telling me, the only difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary is that little extra. If you put in the little extra effort than all the others then there is no reason why you shouldn’t do well. This holds true not just for academics, but generally for life as well, in doing a good job further in life, in being a better human being, the thing that will matter is that the little extra effort that marks the difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary.
In the end, when you’ve given your best and have done all you could then you leave it upon god, in the end, que sara sara, whatever will be will be.

Peer Pressure

 Here’s the thing about peer pressure, it doesn’t exist! Really! I don’t know why it’s called peer pressure its all self pressure. I know I’ll be gathering a lot of flak for this, but it’s true.
Someone in the class scores 99/100, fine! Good for you! But why should I sacrifice my social life (which is close to nonexistent but still) to cram for an exam. I’ll do how much ever I can do, obviously if I work enough I will get grand marks. But I will I NOT do it because it looks pretty on my report. I’d rather be a nice person with a fun life than spend it inside my books. I’m not saying all the toppers are geeks because I know people who top in class and yet know who Paris Hilton is (I think).
I also know that this is because of time management. As my dad says, of the seven most important habits of successful people, the no. 1 habit is time management. And yes it does work (not for me but whatever, its not like I’ve actually tried).
Just because everyone I know is taking drugs, or are overtly keen on showing their Calvin Klein underwear (or the tattered one if the Calvin has gone for a wash) why should I.
I know of course the keenness to try will be there, I cannot deny it, but in the end, common sense has to prevail. I have truthfully never been asked to do drugs and the one time I was asked if I would like to smoke, I refused. Once (in a blue moon) when my dad was smoking, I asked him if I could try and he said yes! I tried it and trust me there is nothing even remotely cool or yummy or enjoyable about it.
It’s just as if you o put your head in a fireplace and inhale all the smoke and ash. I mean if smokers enjoy it so much they should join the firefighters ,every time there is a fire you can just stand there and inhale all the smoke (provided you do the little bit of community service that asks you to spray water).
Don’t even get me started on the consequences to your health. I once saw on the Oprah show (think what you will, I am not soppy loser) a preserved lung of a chain smoker (icky I know), and trust me it was not pretty, you do not want internal organs looking like that.
Just one question, why do I have to display my underwear just because she is (or he is or the whole world is, whatever)? (Partly because it wont look anywhere near decent on a person my shape). Why should I wear my hair down if every one is? You know I bet everyone thought they were being “cool” and “different” (besides going against their parent’s wishes) but the truth is that they’re all being all exactly the same! Because everyone else is doing it, you are too and then you become a stereotype just like everyone else. Wherever you see its low waist low waist low waist low waist ooh! Covered bum, that’s nice.
I for one like to keep mine under my clothes, thank you very much. If I wanted to be Superwoman, I’d keep my intentions clear and simply wear my synthetic red underwear outside my clothes. And why would you want you display your underwear in the first place? Is it a “come hither so you can see more” or an “I wear branded undies I’m rich”? And if it is either I really don’t think it works (at least not for me any way).
The conclusion to this particular long-winded essay about rubbish is that, peer pressure does not exist, IF people learn to use their brains.
I know each and every line will draw objection from people, and I myself can contradict most of the writing. But I hope this essay may drive some sense into some people I could name.