Loop de flew

These past few days have been particularly bonkers what with the preparation for the college fest and all. Me, and my friends, in particular are going excessively crazy because we seem to be elbow deep into the giant sticky and awesome mess we seem to be creating. The month has gone by in a whirlwind of activity, and its just this incredibly weird feeling that, after these 2 days, its over. We’ve been working towards this day for so much time now, it just seem ridiculous that we’ll have nothing to do after this weekend.

And the worst part is, we’re going back to classes! (sob!). We’ve not been having classes for so long, and having a blast for so long, and literally living in college for so long, it’ll be sorta weird to not be doing all this.

I’ve been revolving in so many loops, its not even funny. From the t shirts we ordered turning out to be made for the 8-12 yr age group to wanting to bury my head in the cemented floor because ‘the newspaper’s font hurts my eyes’.

But you know what is affecting me the most? Being involved in so many loops is not only fun, it makes me feel exceptionally happy, wanted, like I can do something, I matter; but what hurts me most is being out of the loop I care for the most.

Its just a random feeling, and I am sure I am not really out of it, just not making an effort to being in it either. But the thing is, people expect me to be out of it. It bugs me the most. Its not like I am awesome and other people make efforts to, like, hide stuff from me, but it just gets to me that even when I ask, ppl don’t tell me.

I get that I may be slow on the uptake, but so should they. No? Help me understand so that future references are not filled with exasperated sighs and omgs.

To ppl who will read this, this is just how I feel sometimes. This is the first time in my life, when I felt I could fit in somewhere, but these things just bring my old insecurities back.

You know, I am getting to my point. What I hate most that when ppl make assumptions; and that just makes me want to do things that will shock them out of their wits (not nicely even).

Like how they think, fat ppl are jolly blobs, and how if I don’t hold my heart out to break, I don’t have one, and how because they don’t like it, its shit, and how norm is the rule.

#Lesson for the day: Rant sometime, its awesome.

Wait

I read a book once; it was called ‘Waiting’, by Ha Jin (I think). It involved a man, unhappily married, who waits so that he can marry his true love, and then decides that marriage is pretty crappy either way. I am sure, that wasn’t the point of the book, but that is what I remember.
Anyway, today is my day of waiting. Not for my ‘true love’ or anything (which I am pretty sure doesn’t exist anyway), but for something to happen. The last few days have been such a great rush, that now I am sitting here, with n-o-t-h-i-n-g to do, and I feel this emptiness.
Perhaps that is what a pre historic Neanderthal felt. I mean, what did those guys do? I mean, granted you had some giants that had it in for you, healthcare was not cake, and yeah, cake did not exist (the horror!); but even then, you had to sit around and wait for the sun to move his ass, so that you could have your next meal. And, thus started human development, out of boredom.
It is my theory that due to lack of things to do, a dude was probably rubbing sticks and stones together, and discovered fire. Why else, of all things, would someone sit down and rub stuff together?
The same with a wheel, some dude (or dudette to be fair) was most likely, playing with sharp things and wood, she decided it was an interesting shape, and voila! We have the wheel. Next boredom/evolution thought process went like this, let’s put a metal chassis on the wheels and blow up the world! Whee!
My point is this, waiting is never fun, and we spend more than half of our life, waiting. I mean, my birthday is tomorrow, and I’ve been waiting for it all year, and more so this last week, because you have amazing expectations. Then the day rolls around, and you realise, you have nothing to wait for. Because, it’s really just another day, more fun maybe, but a day.
We’re always waiting, some expectations are always cued, and then what, you realise it was all the same.

|The following has been stolen from my beloved Anta, whom i'm married to.................

#Lesson for the day: Waiting is not fun, what you are waiting for just might be.